Thursday, August 13, 2009

New Rules For Congress

In a perfect world the US Congress would be run a little differently.

First no more “living expenses.” Senators and House members would no longer be able to take tax money for living expenses when congress is in session. Instead, Dorm like housing would be built to house them. Each room housing 6 members of congress.

Upon certification of an election by the state, each congressman’s assets as well as the spouses would have a lien placed on them by the state they represent. In the event that a law is passed that has a detrimental effect on the United States, all members of congress that voted for the bill or was a sponsor would have all assets seized and bank accounts froze. At which time a tribunal would come to session, if found guilty the assets would be given back to the people of the home state in the form of tax credits. The Guilty member of congress as well as the spouse and children would then be deported out of the United States.

Any felony that a member of congress is found guilty of would result in a mandatory public execution. Also all above-mentioned provisions of asset seizure would be in effect. Execution will be carried out on the Washington Mall in the shadow of the Jefferson Memorial by means of crucifixion.

Pay for members of congress will be lowered to 8.25 an hour. A working hour will transpire when said congressperson is in the chamber during a session of congress or when he is in a committee session.

Constituents will have the right to strike with great force with the back of the hand (“bitch slap”), the faces of the members of their congressional delegation at any time for any reason what so ever.

If the public feels it is necessary, all members of congress will be sodomized at great length. Except for barney frank.

Maybe if these rules were in place, we could get a better class of leaders.

2 comments:

Jeff said...

You do not disappoint, sir.

Pink and Green Hippo said...

I really enjoyed reading this. You always make me think.

In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need fines and fees and sodomy. I propose in a perfect world, our country would have a senate comprised of two members per state – one elected person and one drafted person. The drafted person would be chosen at random from a pool of regular people, like jurors. Common people would accommodate common wishes. Wealthy or ambitious politicians rarely remember (if they ever knew) what a regular citizen cares about. Elected officials and drafted officials would serve no more than two consecutive terms. Yes you would have the occasional wing-nut come up in the draft. I don’t believe great citizens are born or raised or prepared. I believe that great occasions in history require common people to do great things. Everyone talks about service or requirement. The best of us all appears in emergency, chaos, anarchy.
A pandemic would certainly only help at this point. Sodomy opptional of course!